I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
