I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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