it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
