Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
