I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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