My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize