In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
