I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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