i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
