its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize