i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize