Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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