so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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