Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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