i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
