We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I need to calm my uterus...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize