he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
