Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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