"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
