i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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