Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
