i permit you to call me
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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