i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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