Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
