I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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