can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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