I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
