he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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