somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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