Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
