omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
