i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
