I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just blew my weed a kiss
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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