Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
