Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
