bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
