OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
