A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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