wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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