the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
