You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
