home. puking in laundry basket.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
