there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
