how can u be prego again
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize