i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize