Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
