He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Randomize