I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize