I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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