I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
