i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
