My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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