I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
