what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
