Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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