addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize