put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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