So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
