1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
