I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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