Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
