I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
