Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
