Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
