I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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