also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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