: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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