i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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