I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
try to milk me bitch
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