Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
