I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
