i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
