remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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